Goals....Carpe Diem

I've let too many things slip by. I've let too many things blow right by. I've allowed to many things to slip through my fingers. I've allowed too many opportunities get away. I've let the mat get pulled out from under me far too many times.

Is it economical to live on the safe side?

What do you have to live for, if you're living in the moment?

Can you live off of the thrill?

Can you live off of the fear of losing everything you have?

There are two extremes in life:
1) Living in the moment and fearing to lose nothing

2) Living in fear of losing everything.

What is the more economical way of living?

Pros:

1) You learn to savor the beauties that life offers when you live in the moment. You learn to have fun, and let loose. Stress won't eat you alive.

2) Living in fear of losing everything allows you to savor what you have worked for. You cherish the memories that you have gained. But the stress of preserving everything will eat you alive.

Of course, these are only the extremes. There is a happy and healthy medium that everyone can get to.. but not everyone can get there within this lifetime. Some people lose it before they gain anything..

Cons:

1) You have the tremendous potential to lose everything if you were to simply live on the edge.

2) You let life slip right by.

Sometimes you don't have the expenses to savor a life of luxury.

Sometimes you work yourself insane trying to preserve what you have earned and worked for.

Where's the medium?

maybe that's the answer to the meaning of life.

I'm having such a difficult time trying to focus for my midterms tomorrow. I haven't even studied for my Hist180 mid term, and I can't seem to absorb any of the information for my Nutrition exam. My inability to absorb information is so stressful - now that I think about it, I think the stress is preventing me from remembering any of this information.

This is so frustrating...

Cold Cold Heart - Norah Jones

Darker Days

You find yourself in a cold dark place. The ground around you is damp, and the stench of misery begins to flood your surroundings. The walls are crumbling in as you peer at the light, as it dwindles away. The ground rises as dirt seems to fall from above you/ The glimmer of hope that was the stream of light begins to dissipate and the rain begins to fall heavier and heavier. Begging for life, you lose all the light...
You find yourself trapped in the dark, damp and cramped place. You you feel the sickness setting in.

You Found Me - The Fray

Black Sheep

Ah, you may dress unconventionally, trendy, stylish, and exotically.. But you're no different than your cookie-cutter classmates. You act as catty, as rude, as inconsiderate as them. You snicker at those who act differently.. You look down upon those who think differently. You express yourself the same. You visually express yourself differently, but your thoughts are all the same. You're mean. You don't know it... but the way you treat others who choose to express themselves differently is mean.

We take up different hobbies than you, no need to be catty about it. Does it offend you?

The way we think... Does it offend you? Do we express it, and oppress you with it? I don't think so.

Why must you judge us so?

We all feel the same.

You may all act the same... but we have just as many feelings as you do.

Dance Yourself Clean by LCD Soundsystem

Treatable Depression

Depression is no stranger to human kind... It has struck famous historical figures including famous artists (Edgar Allen Poe and Vincent Van Gogh), famous celebrities (Kurt Cobain and Owen Wilson), and of course, the average joe. (not these average joes)

But what is depression anyways?

In my opinion, I believe depression is seen in two ways:

1) a physiological disorder that affects the endocrine and the nervous system. (hormone deficiency)

or

2) a personality disorder that can be dealt with via counseling and possible change in environment.

I strongly believe the physiological theory is accurate and through empirical means and patience (along with some counseling to deal with coping) depression can be combated and ultimately conquered.

I don't believe that the physiological disorder of depression is a randomly onset disorder in some cases. Many cases of depression can also be linked with substance dependence problems, anxiety disorders and just plain stress. (reference) It is no coincidence that all of these disorders can very possibly be found in a single individual; so what I'm trying to say is that it is possible for an individual to develop a hormone deficiency after a traumatic event that ultimately leads to anxiety, stress and depression.

But on the same note, it is also possible for an individual to sporadically develop the hormone deficiency.

In my eyes, mental disorders should be looked at as physiological disorders not just an incurable personality trait.

I was reading an article from Popular Science, that that ultimately inspired me to share my opinion... (granted, it is difficult for a patient with depression to look at anything in a different light...or any light)

Run by Snow Patrol

KEEP CALM & DRINK COFFEE

I enjoyed at least 4 cups of coffee today (Garuda, and Ethiopian) and a triple shot soy capp. It's 12:10, I have to be up by at LEAST 6AM tomorrow. I have to give a speech and turn in a paper (that's the easy part)
-Fingers Crossed-

The consequence of having a completely blocked out schedule is that you don't have time for a mid day coffee break. Gotta keep running on steam! The only coffee I get is in the morning :( wahhh! Gotta make the most out of it.

In case you were wondering:
Garuda: A beautifully balanced blend of coffee from Papua New Guinea and Indonesia. I find it to be nutty and sweet. (some of my favorite flavors) Not too heavy and finishes cleanly.

xoxo

Commitment

This is a shorter post... Not much inspiration.. Not much motivation... I'll try another post this week.. For sure.

I'll scribble out my goals for the week...

Monday: Yoga Class

Tuesday: Blog Post@Coffee Shop? + Workout

Wednesday: @home Leg Strengthening Workout

Thursday: Hiking

Friday: Another workout/hiking?

Goal for the week: Commit to this. And Do it.... Get healthy. Mind, Body and Soul.

Hopefully this will help me clear my mind.

--Picked this up with the BF yesterday:

Little Lover's So Polite by Silversun Pickups

Food For Thought... Popular Science article based off of an interesting Harvard Univ Study...

What Do You Do When You Blood Runs Cold?

There is and has been such an incredible build up in my brain... I feel as though I can not tap into certain parts of my brain.. Not like I used to be able to.

I can most vividly describe this feeling like... I cannot reach a part of my back that is itchy.

I find that it is much easier to lose my train of thought... I can't seem to focus as easily as I used to be able to. I find it too easy to forget the next step of a process that I am currently working on... Don't get me wrong, I can still function.. Day to day activities are still progressing per usual (or as far as I can remember) however, I do find it easier to forget the petty things. I forget that I need to get something from the grocery store. I can't study certain subjects, and in those same classes, I can't seem to focus and absorb the information. Although I do not have a burning interest in that subject, I still can't seem to absorb the material that I'm presented.

If you're in need of inspiration, Bon Iver can probably provide the inspiration you need. Warning, his music does not put you in a good mood...

Moving on...

I'm sipping a dark and oily cup of coffee courtesy of a French Press from a local coffee shop. Wow it tastes like a watery mess. I understand that I'm more accustomed to a rich, dark and almost.. hearty cup of coffee; but this is not even coffee to me - it is just water with coffee silt in it.

If I was a total douche, I'd return this... But it's just a few bucks, and I've been sitting here for a few hours..(this is my second purchase) I do have intentions to come back, without the ugly cloud of guilt floating above my head.

Maybe if I continue blogging, and ventilating my feelings.. I'll be able to function fully again.

It's as though my brain has allergies.