Claude Monet

Claude Monet. Absolute favorite artist of all time.

Fell in love with his work when I first began painting impressionist paintings.

This past week was filled with cooking. Somber. Confusion. Inexplicable sadness. The seemingly usual now. Am I right?Control, sanity and ideas thoughts... filled my brain. Time has sped by, of course a sweet benefit.

Tried my way with relaxation yesterday. Frightening. Not quite yet to be relieved. Time will tell what else will happen. What else I can do. I will post some recipes soon.

Elton John - Candle In The Wind

Seemingly appropriate.

Never Have I Ever

I did not understand the concept of motivation until my later years in high school, and accordingly, I did not experience the sense of accomplishment until much later in my life. (far too much later) Anyways.... Have you ever felt like there's something holding you back? Do you see your potential, but it is far too distant to reach?

I see it. So many inhibitions preventing me from reaching it. I can see it, I know it is there. But I can't quite hit that final note. It hurts so much. It is so frustrating.

Sometimes I just feel hopeless, like there is nothing out there that can help me. No one out there that can understand me.

No one out there that can just listen, and make me feel important.

I feel so isolated.

I don't feel motivated to get out of bed. The only motivation I have is getting out of here. That is not quite enough.

There is no passion burning deeply in the root of my heart. There is nothing here for me. There is nothing worth being here for.

I always feel displaced, out of place. This is not my path, this is not the way of life that I want to live.

This was an ugly post.

Until next time...

Elton John - Your Song