Friday, October 28, 2011

I Feel My Heart Pounding....

The Airborne Toxic Event - All I've Ever Wanted

I didn't plan on posting today, but posting my recipes tomorrow. But I was so compelled to do so after listening to these lyrics - they hit home. I lie awake and pretend you can hear me... A sentence that illustrates a lonely dark scene. We could lie to each other like they do and say that we're so happy. It's easy when you're young and you want it so badly. How do you know that you're not blinded by your own wants and needs? How do you know that they don't cover up the truth that you're dying to know to live? Are you making mistakes?
Will you be here forever? Does it frighten you to know that you won't be?

The looming fear of knowing that you're constantly making mistakes, or the fortune of mistakes is all too realistic, haunts me daily. Of course I am able escape those ideas through exercising. Is that my fate?

The concept of fate and destiny do exist in my universe, however, the haunting fear that I may be ruining my fate and destiny sends me shaking.

I know that I am highly dependent on the presence of others'. I constantly seek the new to see if I'm missing out on activities; and I constantly seek out every other option, although the right one is below my nose. I am stuck on this one... The one I depend on for my life. But I'm not sure if it's the right one. How will I know? Is this a mistake? Did I already give up opportunities? I know that one, yes.

I hate the mistakes I make, they taunt me in the shadow that follows me. I can't escape the guilt that lines my mistakes.

I'll never be cured. I'll always be haunted. Chained by these shadows. When will this end?
I've learned my lesson. Stop torturing my conscience. You're killing me.
Sacrificing my sanity. Is there a limit to this? To my thoughts...

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