I felt no spark, no fire burning inside of me to start my day.
I did not feel compelled to get dressed.
I did not feel compelled to get in my car.
I did not feel compelled to take notes in class.
I did not feel compelled to go to my support group.
...have I really sunk this far in life?
Is the reality of my every day being?
Is this what I have made of my life?
As much as I'd like to say that 'I love life!' and mean it...
I dread it.
I dread every part of everything.
Why do I stand here today?
Why am I typing this.. for you all to read?
Because you are the only people who won't judge me.
You are the only people who I do not fear to tell the truth..
This eating disorder is inhibiting me from achieving my full potential.
This eating disorder is preventing me from enjoying the life that I see everyone else loving.
I hate watching others in envy of their smiles and giggles.
I just hope they can't see the dark looming clouds...
my thoughts are scattered