Sunday, October 23, 2011


Today was one of those days when I just want to eat ate everything.
Consumed 600cal alone on the Lara Bars I made with Chocolate Covered Katie's recipe. Although vegan, dates are super high in calories. (its about 200cal per bar)
I know people say it's not good (esp for a recovering bulimic) to count calories, but I can't help it. It's who I am, it's what makes me, me. I'm concerned about health, yes. I'm concerned about the way I look, hell yes. I'm concerned about the way I think, oh yeah.
I lost my train of thought - per usual.

I think if you lose count of the calories you consume, you will find yourself at 300lbs and losing your mind. I don't think it's okay for someone to just stop counting their calories. I don't think it's okay if someone just loses awareness of what they eat. People need to control something. Control what you eat. Control what goes into your mouth. If you lose control, then what do you have in control? Today, I lost control. I don't know why. It was probably because I was thinking to myself 'I'll start a seven day slim down tomorrow' (re:tone it up) these health oriented sites probably hate the plugs I'm giving them. I'm not sure what's going on my head - per usual... again...

Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet with Butterfly Wings

My thoughts are so scattered.

Wanna see a binge?
Today I ate...
1 batch of pancakes (5 silver-dollar cakes)
Quarter of my Chickpea Blondie Recipe
3 Lara Bar Servings 600cal
1 bowl of Vegan Vegetable Soup
Half a bread pudding slice (shared with my mom)

all of that before dinner.

How does one go about stopping a binge?
I wish I knew.
I like to take little breaks between my day to read interesting news articles that pop up on AOL or Yahoo.

Decided against actually studying for a sociology test. A simple task I could have completed throughout the week. Way to go.

Finally, didn't go to my support group today.

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